The Root

One gardener’s quest to get to the bottom of it all.

My Least Favorite Houseplant February 25, 2008

Filed under: Houseplants,Nature,Winter — Kate @ 11:19 pm
Tags: , ,

Dave the 3 Dollar Cactus

This is a cactus we inherited from our condo’s former tenants. It is sorely unloved. It’s thorns are needle-sharp, it’s irreparably soiled (I have knocked it over accidentally, repeatedly, and bits of dirt remain skewered on and between its hideous thorns). It is housed flimsily in plastic, living on a scarce palmful of potting soil mixed with whatever else was on the floor when I swept it up, for the fourth time.

If I have one green thumb, it bears the brunt of my opposite, sorrier digit.

Neville and I have named it Dave and curse it repeatedly by name. It has become the nexus of everything that is irritating and dissatisfying about the condo. In a last morbid effort at killing it, I have refused it sunlight and water for the past week or two. But it persists.

And, I have to admit, I have begun to feel sorry for it. Once, in the course of our banter, we discussed transplanting the stunted thing to a sandtrap at a nearby golf course. Now I think I shall carry out this plan — when the weather warms, when he (she?) might actually have a chance to thrive, if only for a season.

I have even entertained the hope that a good-humored golfer might take the cactus home. (Be well, small, fierce being.)

It seems like the best way to say goodbye.

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One Response to “My Least Favorite Houseplant”

  1. […] March 25, 2008 Filed under: Houseplants, Spring — Kate @ 6:33 pm Our sorely unloved cactus is blooming! He’s earned a place in the […]


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